Fun on a Plane
(long before 9/11)
Back in the good old eighties, the atmosphere on commercial airliners was fairly relaxed, especially when there was a band
on board. The flight attendants almost expected a certain amount of joking and flirting from a group of longhaired musicians.
On one long flight from Nashville to LA, we were bored, and it didn't take long for "Heckle and Jeckle" (as the rest of the band
called us) to invent a new trick. We took apart our disposable airline headphones, which were essentially just hollow plastic
tubes. Between three sets of headphones, we had about 16 feet of tubing, which we assembled into one long tube. We snaked
the tube under the seats in front of us, against the wall. The tube was semi-rigid, and we were able to push it up three rows of
seats in front of us, all seats occupied by our group.
Danny lit a cigarette, took a big drag, and blew long and hard into the tube. Three rows in front of us, a big thick cloud of
smoke came drifting up from the floor. By the time it enveloped our buddies, Danny was sending a second cloud. They
immediately assumed the worst, (who wouldn't?) and hit the call button for the flight attendant. As soon as I heard the chime
and saw the call light come on, I started reeling the tube back in. By the time the flight attendant made it down the long aisle of
the DC-10, we had the tube rolled up and stowed in the seat-back pocket, and the smoke had mostly dissipated.
They were trying to convince her that this big cloud of smoke had "risen up out of the floor", and I could see her looking under
their seats and shaking her head. She was probably wondering what kind of big cloud they had been smoking before getting
on the plane.