The Detroit Pig Incident
While playing a big fair date in Knoxville, TN, several of the guys had their wives and kids visiting. Tony, the road manager,
bought each of the kids baby ducks and chicks, knowing that the parents would be stuck taking them home and caring for
them. The kids went crazy over the cute little birds, and his plan worked, with everyone grumbling and swearing to "get even
And "get even" is what we did, the next week in Detroit, at the Michigan State Fair. Tony's wife and son were visiting, and we
bought a piglet from one of the livestock booths. We decided to sneak it into their hotel room, to be waiting for his 3-year old
"Little Tony" when they arrived.
Sneaking a wrigglin', squealin' pig through the lobby of a nice hotel isn't the easiest task, but Danny and I were up to the
challenge. I went to the desk and distracted the receptionist and concierge with some rhetorical questions, while Danny
strolled nonchalantly through the lobby, with the pig in his arms. It was wrapped in a blanket, and Danny was surrounded by
other band members and roadies, all coughing and talking loudly to drown out the squealing. They made it into the safety of
the elevator, and we planted the "pork surprise" (with a pink ribbon around his neck) in Tony's hotel room. We waited down
the hall and around a corner, and soon they arrived, opened the door, and said, "What the hell?!! Oh no, OH NO, they
DIDN'T!!" Little Tony was trying to hug his new friend, while big Tony was trying to catch it. As soon as he did, he headed off
to catch a cab back to the fairgrounds, to try to return the little swine before his son got too attached to it.
Well, sneaking a pig out of a hotel is no easier than sneaking it in, and as Tony was riding the elevator down fourteen floors,
it stopped, and in walked the hotel manager. Thinking quickly, Tony said, "Would you look at what I found in my room? What
kind of a place is this, anyway?" Without missing a beat, the manager replied, "Well, his credit was good, and we can't
discriminate against him just because he's a pig."
Apparently, when Tony got back to the fair, the livestock section was closed for the evening, and he had a tough time finding
someone to keep the little porker until morning, when he could give him back to his original owners.